Things Fall Apart to Come together again

Back to business

Apr 16, 2025

I hate always being the one with the most willingness to admit I am wrong. However, it may be the same tendency that leads me to believe I am right.

There’s two colors I am drawn to right now:

yellow and red

Because I believe it is in orange that is so sweet and juicy.

And just in this collateral yellow pollen that pairs with the redness in my eyes,

I know that in between the damage it is the most beautiful time of the year that last just about three weeks. Fragrant star jasmine in bloom for all to yearn and wrap themselves in bushes. The sweetest spark whipped around every corner, with friendship flags waved up ahead.

Fleeting like just as life, not all cycles are the same. There is peace in the surrender, knowing it will come around again.

On a walk this week, having already started on this piece with the title in frame, Cassidy and I found a baby hackling fallen on the pavement. The fresh heartbeat still advocating oxygen to its lungs, though with an adhesion on its neck, the odds were not in its favor for flight. This baby bird we moved to the closest patch of earth decorating his final resting spot with leaves and small red seeds. A young girl and her mother stopped to see why were there, and as two fellow animal lovers we all felt very moved and touched by the faint breath, with eyes still closed, that laid before us. We said our prayers and finally passed along the way. The following day I saw that same mother and daughter on my walk with Miso, and got to share a friendly knowing smile.

The less I question God, and the more I work with my own trusting heart, the more we are rewarded. The more purpose we bring into even the hatchling of a cycle that is sure to close.

And so for now, in this moment, all I am concerned with is the birds whistle. There is a nest of broken uncertainties, and there’s the changing climate and strangulation of words one wished. There’s pain and grief, and embarrassment and guilt, but then there’s freedom and prosperity.

We rebuild trust in our structures, by slowly adjusting. Maybe it is your business, maybe it is your body, but because life is perfect in yellow and in red, the breakdown and the build up, we give trust to the orange, that patience in the juice will be worth the ripe squeeze.

Re-establishing trust in my body looks like crystal clarity vocalizing my needs for almost every area in my environment. When things fall apart and shift, and our muscles feel out of place, what is the fearless self advocacy that takes getting down to the nitty gritty of what we genuinely need?

In my personal experience, the medication doctors have prescribed for this nuance condition isn’t helpful. So I have ventured into understanding and learning the physical fabric of who I am.

Why is my myofascial spinal column so twisted? Well thats a long story, but I have created this intimate relationship with the parts of me that are structurally red, so that by the time they rise to surface, hopefully all you see is Yellow. The juice becomes my nourishment. Love the specialists, but this is A BODY of work.

All I ask is that If I can make this moment last, forever will be catching the sun from dusk to dawn.

In ease and in pain in light and in bloodshed; we find the reason to speak again.

We’ve spoken about rage and anger and the feminine need to be heard and accepted. Now it is in the orange of acceptance that the burning red creativity is brought to its yellow light!

easing back in from last breakdown with 6 songs:

Ben Lee - We’re all in this together 2005

Growing up listening to Australian Musician, Ben Lee, I can say, this just hits differently at certain points in time. This song reminds me to not be afraid to reinstate those connections, constantly cultivating compassion. Thanks Mamma